politics – Page 15

When did resignation stop being honourable?

Biography

A few words of Biography: Alistair Carmichael is the liberal MP for Orkney and the Shetland Isles. He is my godmother’s MP. He is in fact, following the resignation of Nick Clegg, the effective leader of the parliamentary Liberal party. This makes the revelations this weekend that he was personally behind the leak that claimed Nicola Sturgeon had an interest in seeing David Cameron remain in power, particularly destructive.

This is what was reported:

The leak suggested the Scottish first minister wanted David Cameron to remain as prime minister.

Mr Carmichael said it was an error of judgement and he accepted “the details of the account are not correct”.

Ms Sturgeon said it had been a “blatant election dirty trick”.

The confidential memo was published by the Daily Telegraph on 3 April as the general election campaign got under way.

It was written by a civil servant in the Scotland Office and claimed Ms Sturgeon told the French Ambassador to the UK, Sylvie Bermann, that she would prefer Mr Cameron, the leader of the Conservatives, to remain as prime minister.

An apology needs to be more than a letter of admission

My own opinion is that this leak not only did damage to the political process but also seriously undermined our diplomatic image. Mr Carmichael might feel the political initiative was worth it, but the damage to our international reputation is appalling and for that damage alone, he should resign immediately. Reading further, we discover that the official inquiry identified Eaun Roddin as the actual leaker. It is perhaps, therefore, a small credit to Carmichael that he is standing up for a former colleague who, we learn leaked with “his permission” Carmichael says he was “aware of its content and agreed that my special adviser should make it public”.

Resignation?

I am not sure when politicians began to think it was better to cling on to power than to resign? Recently, I seem to have been drumming on about resignation. Indeed, I did it myself and thought that I might lead by example. People told me I was a fool, and indeed, rather than being treated with respect, I was savaged as was my family.

The new rules of political resignation were written by UKIP during the recent election.

Another agendum

I understand entirely why Mr Coburn felt it unnecessary to resign too, because as far as he was concerned, he was doing exactly what he had been told to do. He was at the beck and call of Mr Farage, and was not directly beholden to his electorate or to the people of Scotland. If Mr Farage did not feel he had crossed a red line, then he had not. It took some time for this message to filter down to me, but I understand it now. An offence is only a problem if the speaker intends it. It does not really matter what the victim thinks.

caught out

I also understand the terms that made the resignations of Robert Blay and Atkinson became essential: they had both been caught out by undercover reporters. It begs the question whether they might have continued in their respective political careers had they not been caught so publicly. But so be it. Resignation follows being caught out.

fake resignation

Finally, there is the third option, which is the resurrection card played very nicely by Mr Farage. This involves invoking a Christ-like ability to return to the same position voluntarily abandoned barely three days’ earlier. If it is possible to whip the NEC into voting for reinstatement, so much the better, but no doubt the barrage of supportive emails will also do the trick. Why, oh why, did Jeremy Clarkson’s resignation go so wrong, then, because he had probably gathered even more signatures of support than even Mr Farage?

Another example of the fake resignation is the fake ultimatum. In 2013, the Europe of Freedom and Democracy (EFD) got caught up in a series of extreme statements, among them support for the murderer Anders Breivik who Mario Borghezio said had “excellent ideas”. Farage wrote to Borghezio demanding he withdraw the statement or UKIP would pull out of the EFD. Borghezio did not withdraw his statement. Instead, he spoke at length in the parliament in a torrent of right-wing absurdity thus, “Long live the Whites of Europe, long live our identity, our ethnicity, our race… our blue sky, like the eyes of our women. Blue, in a people who want to stay white.” I don’t think he was being satirical. UKIP remained in the EFD and later Nikki Sinclair was later expelled from UKIp, she said, because she did not accept the “extreme views” of EFD. It is all slightly inconsistent, but there we are. We do not really know the rules of this game because new rules are being made on a daily basis.

In other words, as long as enough noise is made, we can accept any proposition.

Alistair Carmichael

Now we have a new situation. The victim was offended of course. But that does not matter in the new world order of UKIP resignation. Though here, the culprit has admitted the offence, and then – the implication goes that – had he not written to Nicola Sturgeon, he might have been exposed anyway in the sunday newspapers as the source of the “leak”. This strongly recommends resignation, but it is certainly not clear-cut on the new principles, and anyway, he is a Liberal and has just about survived the Scottish SNP political sweep.

Of course, he might tender his resignation as a Government minister – but that was done for him by the electorate. He might resign from the Liberal party- but I suspect they might feel obliged to reinstate him simply to keep up their numbers on the political life-support. Should he fall on his sword and cause a by-election, no doubt a waiting SNPer would snap up the seat.

Resignation under the new terms is about political survival. I think it should be about moral principles. Whether we “understand” it or not, the new UKIP approach to political resignation is a hollow mockery of morality.

But lest we forget- Salmond, Clegg, Miliband

The most honourable resignations in recent history have been those of Alex Salmond, Nick Clegg and Ed Miliband, gentlemen all. All three followed the old procedures. Already, one of these has returned from the political wastelands and claimed his rightful place with his former troops in Westminster, and more than that, he has the dignity to take a back seat.

In short, there is now a choice. Does the Liberal man- caught with his proverbial trousers round his ankles, want to champion the new rules laid out by UKIP or does he want to join the gentlemen and “do the right thing”? Whether SNP or Tory benefits from Alistair Carmichael’s resignation, so be it. The Rubicon was crossed when he penned his letter- let the dice fall where they may. It really is time to tie his colours to the mast. In other words, this goes beyond his own political survival. It is about liberalism. If his party allows him to fly the UKIP flag in this instance and adopt one of the variety of UKIP policies about resignation on offer (all tried and tested), then the liberal party can never again claim to be the party of decency and, whoever is elected new leader should seriously consider setting up talks about an alliance with Farage.

Xavier Bettel and Gauthier Destenay

Firstly, congratulations to the Prime Minister of Luxembourg who was married yesterday. It is a few months later than planned, but well done anyway. I hope he and Gauthier will be very happy.

meanwhile…

Nikolopoulos, the Homophobic twitter

A little while ago, I ran a story about Nikolopoulos who criticised the Prime Minister in Greek on twitter which I am reprinting below.

What is he up to now

He is still in the Greek parliament (and actually part of the Governing coalition) and was voting a few days for educational reform. His basic point here, if I understand correctly, is that German should no longer be taught in Greek schools. This is what he says-

“The German language, for the past 20 years, has unreasonably been promoted and supported by the Greek state to an excessive degree in relation to others, equally if not more important languages at a global level such as Spanish, Russian, Arabic and Italian,” he writes.

“We must not continually complain of the burgeoning of one member state of the EU when we ourselves, without it being imposed on us, make the choice to support the transmission of the language, the culture, and the traditions of a people, who in general lines, have been proven to systematically harm our country and have opposed our legal sovereign rights.”

Parallels

This is a man who represents the equivalent party in Greece to what UKIP stands for in the UK, the Conservative Independent Greeks, or ANEL (remember the correct vowel here). He is a bully who takes swipes at whoever he thinks his audience might enjoy seeing done down. He plays deliberately to the crowd and does not think of the consequences of what he says.

Bullies

Like all bullies, when he goes too far, he is the first to cry foul. In October 2014, days after having upset the Minister for transport, (who defiantly said he was not a “wuss” and would not be so “threatened”), Nikoloupoulos sought public solace by claiming himself to have been threatened in an SMS that someone would cut off his leg with a chainsaw. So far, he appears to still have both legs.

And so far, regrettably, this nasty man remains part of the committee that oversees the detailed bailout terms and what to do with bad debt. The only positive thing is that Nikolopoulos’ position in the Greek Government is tenuous because of Syriza’s contempt for his homophobic attack last yera on Xavier Bettel. Accordingly, while he remains the leader of ANEL, it is Panagiotis Sgouridis who got the Cabinet position as Vice Minister for Production Reconstruction, Environment and Energy.

Just a final point- while the Prime Minister and cabinet from Syriza were sworn in during a civil ceremony, the ANEL members insisted on the traditional religious ceremony which I know well from visiting the office of a ridiculous Pasok MP who had offered to see me, and when she realised who I was, pretended to be her own secretary. Around the walls behind her were dozens of photos of the religious ceremony that marked the beginning of a Greek parliament and there she was in picture after picture, fingers poised in the sign of the cross, very pleased with herself.

Religious imagery is not going to whitewash rogues. She should have known that and so should the people in ANEL. Poor Greece.

The older story about the Homophobic tweet -2014

an ANEL MP, Nikos Nikolopoulos, has tweeted a nasty message about the Prime Minister of Luxembourg who has just announced his plans to marry his gay partner. The twit or tweet seems fairly innocuous in English: “From the Europe of nations, to the Europe of queers. The Prime minister of Luxembourg has been engaged with his special one!” In Greek however, “Από την Ευρώπη των εθνών στην Ευρώπη των πουσταριών. Ο πρωθυπουργός του Λοξεμβούργου αρραβωνιάστηκε τον αγαπημένο του!” The word “των πουσταριών” is particularly offensive, a derivative of the word, Pousti, street-language in Greek for “gay”.

The Prime Minister somehow heard of this tweet but, though he had studied maritime law and religion in Thessaloniki, did not speak enough Greek to know what was being said and contacted the MP, “Hello, I heard you want to tell me something, but I don’t speak Greek. Sorry” – now for the juicy bit that exposes the full rump of this silly man, Nikolopoulos. He said the message had been written by Kyriakos Tobras. He then modified his original tweet. What a twit!

Here are the two tweets. The understated graciousness of the second is such a contrast to the nastiness of the first.

Here is Nikolopoulos’s replacement twit (it is almost as bad but does not sound as “chavish” perhaps):

My own experience in Greece

I remember when I tried to register as self-employed in Athens back in 2001. I had been working for a company called Grivas which refused to pay me until I changed my employment status. Apparently, it was then impossible to do more than one particular type of job for any single company, and Grivas had me writing editorial, illustrating and recording vocals for their various English teaching materials, their decision, not mine. It was a horrible experience and a week of going from office to office in the then-labyrinthine bureaucracy was soul-destroyed. On the final day, with minutes to go before the tax office shut, I was asked for yet another pointless bit of paper. I am afraid I began to cry. At this point, the thug of a tax-manager started to assail me in Greek from across the room, saying that all english were “pousti”, and then listing (improbably but I remember this precisely) Thatcher, Blair, Clinton, as examples of gays in public office. This was about the time of the Monica Lewinsky affair. Incidentally, I knew that the man was the boss because he was overweight and had nothing on his desk save for a cup of coffee and a glass of water. Also, I knew enough Greek to understand what he meant, but I turned to the official next to me whose desk was heaving beneath paperwork and asked him what the word “pousti” might mean. “For example,” I added in my best Greek and as loudly as I could. “is that nice gentleman there who has so much to say about the english, also a pousti?” It shut the man up, and I got my papers quite quickly. I cannot recall if Grivas ever paid me what they owed. Probably not. Some of the other people working there seemed to have been driven to insanity and visits to an asylum in Dafni; others attempted suicide, taking a kitchen knife to their wrists. I know. I had to call the ambulance! It was tough living in Greece back then! But also rather exciting.

I think I had found myself in the “wrong crowd”. There is certainly a “right crowd” in Greece. There was then and there clearly is now, and that crowd would wholly condemn Mr Nikolopoulos and all his fascist cronies, clerical and lay. I am very proud that I made good friends in Greece and that we remain in contact. Like me, they believe passionately that the “wrong crowd” is firmly on the way out, but like cockroaches, that wrong crowd takes its time going.

Here is a picture that was printed in the Greek newspaper eleftherotypia at the time- It shows what I looked like then!! (the article is about the shows that were on in the West End, and the closure of “Cats”)

I think Greece has changed

I had hoped that institutionalised homophobia was a thing of the past in Greece, but apparently not. It is a shame. The younger generation of Greeks, among whom I count many good friends, are shocked by the story of Niko Nikolopoulos. But he is a dinosaur and they need to make sure his political career is rendered extinct as soon as practically possible. I have a small cartoon for this story which I will post later: my computer is in general melt-down as I write this!

Meanwhile, my hearty congratulations to the Prime Minister Xavier Bettel and his partner, Destenay Gauthier who are to be married on January 1st. He is not the first openly gay Prime Minister in Europe. Iceland’s Johanna Siguroardottir and Belgium’s Elio Di Ruppo beat him to this!

A cartoon I did at the time

I think my computer is reeling from the absurdity of this story: Niko (Νίκος Νικολόπουλος) wrote something nasty about Xavier (Ξαβιέ Μπετέλ) and then said that it was really written by his friend Kiriakos Tobras (Κυριάκος Τόμπρας). This is all about a particular group of powerful men in Greece who are running around saying something like Δεν δέχομαι να προσχωρήσω στη λογική της γκέι ατζέντας (“I do not believe I have to accept the European Gay agenda”). This is a country which was eager to join the European club and when I was there, the EU Commission in Greece got me to illustrate one of the more absurd books I ever put my name to: “You are in Europe- Learn about Europe!” Some people, like Nikolopoulos evidently did not learn very much.

Europe has a liberal social image that promotes equality, friendship and assistance with better-off parts of the continent helping the less-successful parts. I know Europe as it stands has problems but it still remains a great ideal and was always clear about these aims even if federalism has crept in through some unwatched back door. I don’t really understand how a country like Greece which still boasts an island called Lesbos, and celebrates the history of Alexander the Great as well as the writings of Plato can possibly allow anyone to be championing such a ridiculous cause as this “we think there is a gay agenda” thing, especially when promoted in part by Churchmen who are civil servants*, that is, funded by the State. Truth is, of course, all this shouting and “tweeting” is done by only a minority of silly men with a complex, stirred up by a pile of pernicious priests. All of them should have better things to do. And, moreover, this story demonstrates how feeble these men can be: even when they are caught out, they are not honest enough to admit what they have done, or take proper responsibility for their own actions.

Religion

This is what Nikolopoulos is doing this afternoon. He is in Patras surrounded by Churchmen, so my cartoon (which drew links between him and the Archbishop of Thessaloniki) seems all the more pertinent.

*much needs to be said about the problems of having a “State church” especially when it thinks it has a right to vocalise about modern issues. I will write more on this!!

Modern Greece is not homophobic

Oh, and just to emphasise that modern Greece does not endorse this horrid racist thug, here are some responses from the days following the twitter incident:

Stefanos Livos said: “Not all Greeks are … morons like @NikNikolopoulos”.

Greek Deputy Foreign Minister, Dmitris Kourkoulas, tweeted: “@Xavier_Bettel Dear PM,thanks for helping us unveiling the dirty face of some of our ‘politicians’.”

Bettel himself replied by saying: “Relations between GR & LUX and with @PrimeministerGR are perfect and won’t be affected by the comments of an isolated politician”.

Nikolopoulos has spent much of the last year combatting a draft anti-hate law which will make the sort of attacks against homosexuality, that have been spearheaded by Golden Dawn, illegal.

More from “spiderman”

It was so nice to see you for our light lunch today of potted crab, capers and quail egg with a selection of home-grown organic produce garnished with slices of fresh venison, shot on our estate in Scotland and followed by toasted goats’ cheese, milked, churned and set under supervision by my wife, and I thought that, before you go, I should write a few words to clarify what we have discussed. I mentioned to you the anxieties that have developed around the increasing incidence of red hair, both in my own family and more generally around our United Kingdom. There seems no doubt that this is a matter that will undoubtedly require governmental action at some time in the fairly immediate future: my own instinct is that it is acceptable in Scotland, but should really be kept there.

I also agree that while this was once something we could probably cover up, with today’s wayward youth the carpet is as clear as the curtains. God preserve us from the Tinder you described so eloquently! But what (or who) is Snapchat? or Grindr? I remain at a loss.

It is probably too late, as you pointed out, to institute compulsory blood tests to trace the ginger gene to its inevitable source, but, in the meantime, I like your suggestion that, in the meantime, we should show greater support for red-heads of all description. To this end, might I suggest that my former sister in law should represent our country abroad as Ambassador of the Scilly Isles. It would be important to ensure that she receives the proper equerries and staff – do make sure you check out their feet. (Fergie seems to have a thing about people’s feet.) And do make sure she receives proper guidance, almost on a minute by minute basis because she is inclined to go rapidly off-message.

I do not wish to press the point about our family, but it seems that Chancellor Merkel is warming to the idea of restoring the hereditary monarchy in Germany and I would be keen that Britain is fully represented in such an effort. Might I put myself forward as a possible candidate in the absence of any foreseeable employment? It would be like a homecoming of sorts for my family and a tremendous aid to your undoubted efforts to keep Britain in the EU if we could also, at the same time force our own dynastic links across the continent. You might be aware that my father also has strong ties to Greece and might be prevailed upon to solve the current economic crisis with a few well-chosen words.

Regarding your suggestion that Jeremy Clarkson should take over as our man in Argentina, I am afraid, on reflection, that I have never heard of Jeremy Clarkson, or of his erstwhile programme, “Top Geer” which you mentioned with affection – might this be one of those travelogues about journeys through the EU? Was Michael Palin not available perhaps when the series began? But I am afraid I am a loss as to what even the mighty Mr Clarkson might have had to say about Greer. It is a dull place in Liege somewhere up the river Jeker. I am certainly impressed he has managed to talk about this for 10 years. It gives fuel for thought and suggests he is a man of astounding talent to have made so much of so little. As for Argentina! Of course, I know of Argentina! I went there in the late 90’s and my younger brother regales us often with his deeds of aeronautical daring-do as does my son, and if the said Clarkson might help to quieten down any further attacks on our diminished territories in the Southern Hemisphere, so much the better. Did you enjoy the cranberries? They are from our own garden, and I knew each personally – each almost as a thought in the mind of God. They are plumper because they grew with affection.

The black spider strikes again

A while ago, I did a book cover for a Greek friend who wrote about his experiences as a student here in the UK. It was an opportunity to do some political cartoons.

Recent letters have been published that make me think that it is time for a new incarnation of “Spiderman” to start penning letters to the Prime Minister. Maybe the Guardian will have another go at exposing them to the daylight – or maybe I will cash in on it first: I think there might be a book in it. Of course there would be the serious issues to write about like the preservation of the water rat, the extermination of american (signal) crayfish, the removal of the grey squirrel, the rose ringed parakeet, and the american mink or maybe just the establishment of a concentration camp for unwanted migrant lifeforms from our former colonies-

There are reports of the Signal Crayfish advancing towards our Nuclear deterrent, Prime Minister. On the way, they eat fish eggs and destroy river banks. I myself found an infestation someway up the River Kelvin. The Crayfish is a more serious threat to Scotland than any referendum, Prime Minister. They have already taken over Dumfries and Galloway, all the Borders, Fife and are advancing towards Grampian, Tayside and Lothian. By the time of the next election, they will have completely taken over Scottish waters.

It would be foolish, Prime Minister, to overlook all these predatory species- the crayfish carries a worrying plague, the grey squirrel has the pox and the Rose-ringed parakeet makes a devil of a noise in Regents’ park, a place I know well. I gather that some animals were purposely introduced here from the Americas, like the Coypus, and were almost eradicated in a purge on foreigners probably championed by some sort of Nascent UKIP army in the late 1980’s, but you can’t keep these migrants out. I have heard of Coypu as far north as Durham now. Like the badger, the Coypu must be culled. (The badger is native- so “culled, not wiped out”, please, Prime Minister)

We have had some successful immigrations of course. Our native islands have always welcomed industrious species. The domestic cat has adapted well, as have rabbits which provide much needed fast food for our native birds of prey and I do not forget the nourishing dormouse all of which animals, I believe, came here with Julius Caesar so it would also be churlish to call them foreign after so long. They are almost British. In the same way, I salute the golden Pheasant, essential for fly fishing, and the red-legged partridge both of which have graced our table. I draw the line at the Ruddy Duck, another American import, and the American bullfrog. While I wrestle with Giant hogweed and Canadian pond weed- a necessity of the former Empire, I have also come across American Willow herb and Japanese knotweed. There is even something seriously misnamed the “Oxford” ragwort. This little squalid seed came from Sicily and should have stayed there. It seethes with threats to the rest of my garden. Just when I think it has gone, it springs up again behind me like some diabolical manifestation.

I would not want to sound prejudiced, Prime Minister, because some foreign plants, like the red-squirrel nurturing conifer and the buddleia, beloved of our butterflies, have been particularly valuable in protecting and promoting our native wildlife. There’s the glorious rhododendron, whose ancestors, like mine, are a bit Greek. Its foliage and roots encourage the activities of rodents in our garden, despite what the naysayers in the Forestry Commission who have argued so unconvincingly (in my opinion) about its effect on ecodiversity. Apparently, its thick leaves snub out the chance for competing shrubs, but that’s why we have garden shears, eh, PM?

I think it is time that we championed our own British wildlife, and our own particular personal rodents. The corgi, for instance, is a breed of Welsh dog that I am surprised to find is almost unknown outside Royal circles. This should be challenged and we should institute a corgi-breeding programme across the islands. Maybe we can place a statutory limit on canine leg-length to encourage a healthy breeding programme?

It has struck me of late that I might also write about more vacuous things like whether I should pay proper taxes, how much popularity my doing so might engender. Is it legitimate for me to marry my long-term partner? Would the public accept such a move? And so on. Or maybe I have already done all that and more. Who will ever know now? Future correspondence will be more circumspect and more tightly controlled. Prime Minister, we need a proper privacy bill.

Finally, forgive me for being blunt, Prime Minister, but I was having dinner last night with (redacted name) who asked me to see what could be done about championing the David Brown tractor for export to Chinese landfill sites? It’s such a nice little machine and well-suited to serious work. There we are, I said I’d raise the issue and I have.

The Presbyterian Church of Scotland goes multicolour

In the 1970s, I studied Theology in St Andrews. I then went on to Oxford and did pretty much the same thing there. It is interesting, therefore, to see that the Kirk is now poised to accept gay clergy. I think this is a great step forward but it is also a step I could not possibly have imagined happening back in the 70s. Then, this austere, and rather imposing Church was also quite censorious and puritantical about homosexuality.

In those days, there were three oddly named prelates of distinction in St Andrews- Principal Black who ruled the St Mary’s college, Cardinal Gray and the moderator of the Church of Scotland, also called Gray. There was someone called White. In other words, we lived a monochromatic life in the Divinity faculty, as the messenger would have whined in “A matter of Life and Death” devoid of technicolour.

History

The process of acceptance has taken about 20 years, beginning in the 1990s with the commissioning of two documents to the Board of Social Responsibility. This led to the formation of some panels, one of which reported back unanimously confirming that gay marriage was not sinful. This in turn, not without some popular dissent, led to a decision to allow same sex religious blessings and later to admit to the clergy those who were in same sex relationships – but there was a fudge. Rather like the marriage of Orthodox clergy, the partnership needed to predate the ordination. Today, that fudge will be gone! Things are more progressive in the States, of course. Which makes me wonder why anyone would think that God’s law should be so limited geographically. Either something is wrong or it is right. And we surely cannot be “in communion” with people who are doing something wrong. As (with some mild exceptions in the US which I will come to) the Church of Scotland has not fractured at the agreed advances in social reform, it makes sense that the Scottish mother-church should hurry up and assent lest the whole thing crumble. The same might be said of the Church of England. What is right in America cannot be wrong in England – when it comes to basic morality in the church. This is not a traffic rule and we are not discussing whether to drive on the left or the right.

Exceptions

Now, I mentioned exceptions and these are important- the associate church, the “presbyterian church in America” and the Orthodox presyberian church have all condemned any acceptance of same sex relationships or of gay clergy. The Presbyterian Church of Aotearoa in New Zealand confirms that “marriage is between a man and a woman” as does the Presbyterian Church in Brazil, and in Mexico. More worryingly, there is an organisation sponsored by some of these churches called “OnebyOne” which seems to still advocate aversion therapy.

Politics

While we in the UK, therefore, get into a flap about widening the State definition of marriage, it is remarkable and encouraging that some of the Churches are looking at the religious options available, and have been doing so for some time. Personally, I think the legal definition of Same-sex marriage still has a long way to go, but contrary to the anxiety of some MPs who saw fit to “quote scripture” out of context, this should be an issue about equality and not about religion.

Quotas

Yesterday, there was a statement in the media that the UK parliament has more LGBT MPs than any other Political assembly. Many new SNP members are openly gay. But the UK establishment has long recognised that homosexuality is no bar to high office. If the rumours put out by a member of Monty Python are to be believed, and I suspect they are true, then certainly one of our former Prime Ministers was gay.

The presbyterian Church today is advancing the gay debate and setting forward a framework whereby, when the law comes back to the House of Commons in a few years’ time, as no doubt it must, no one dare stand up and make reference to a so-called prohibition in Leviticus or what they think Jesus might have meant. The religious bit of this debate is over.

Forging a relationship with Scotland

The most brilliant politicians are not those who say what we like to hear, or even what we want to hear. They are the ones who convince us to like what they say, even when we might have been disinclined to do so. I am not in favour of Scottish independence but Nicola Sturgeon is nevertheless one of the most spectacular and dynamic politicians we have ever seen and she is likely to press for a Scottish solution: we cannot leave things as they are. She pretty well embodies a Nation today and floats into 10 Downing street tomorrow morning like some 21st Century incarnation of Mary Poppins- she carries with her a giant carpet bag of unknown knick-knacks, the threat of referendum, a smile that packs a pretty mean punch, and slogans that say “don’t mess with me”.

For the record, here is my drawing of her.

I believe that Nicola Sturgeon is someone Mr Cameron must take seriously. I am also convinced that Scotland can teach those of us in England quite alot. The policies of racial and Religious integration, the campaign to promote the cause of refugees are impressive and the approach to education, particularly with respect to the Tier 1 visa campaign and university fees, is something we should notice with respect. I am less convinced by the “Curriculum for excellence” but more on that another time. For now, welcome to Downing street, First Minister! (or rather, the other way round)

Just so you can compare the two, here are some pages from my sketchbook of caricatures of the original Mary Poppins, Julie Andrews-

Asylum

part A: A common Policy for Asylum

Today the EU has put forward plans for sharing asylum throughout Europe. This is a review of the Dublin convention of 1990, Eurodac and the Dublin regulation of 2003. Since 2009, there has been a uniform procedure throughout the EU for dealing with asylum requests. This grandly announced that it was having the last word on asylum policy- “les dernières briques de la protection internationale sont posées”, but clearly not! In practice, the 2009 directive means dealing with integration difficulties, clarifying the criteria for accepting an applicant (“membership of a social group” for instance, including gender) and establishing the rights to health-care and housing that are granted both to successful applicants and to those whose asylum status is not quite established but who have leave to remain in the host country.

Greece

The biggest issue specifically addressed on paper in 2009 was to ease the burden to the host state, but I am not sure that such has actually been achieved. Greece, for instance, continues to struggle, as in the news daily, we see the struggles of the Italian islands. The statistics, however, hide the fact that there is a big difference between the numbers of those granted asylum and those in the country requesting asylum. In Greece, for example, 625 people were granted asylum in 2012 in contrast to 22,165 given asylum in Germany. But to get a better picture, just note that in Lesbos in just a few days in 2012, 4409 people attempted to enter the territory. Of those, 2,600 were arrested in Turkey. Until 2012, 90% of immigrants entered europe through Greece. Thanos Maroukis estimated in 2012, that 390,000 people entered Greece. Of these, 625 were granted asylum. It puts the problem into perspective and it has only got worse since then.

Nomenclature

Because of the ambiguity of the language, therefore, I am not really sure how, in practice, the new proposals will happen, though I have listened to what debate was available. Many asylum seekers find their appeals rejected. Some are genuinely bogus and some are unable to provide sufficient proof to make their case. Some simply have bad advice. At what point in the process, will they be dispersed? There is what the newspapers call a “surge of migration” across the mediterranean, which places even more pressure on Italy and Greece, two of the weaker Nations, to provide care under the original Asylum directives that a migrant should be processed in the first country he or she reaches in Europe. For all their belly-aching about migration, this means that very few migrants should genuinely have been treated by the UK because, logically, anyone making it to the UK must have passed through another member state in the process. A lack of proper documentation makes it harder to deport people because it is unclear where they first made land, though in 2008, the UNHCR asked the EU not to return Iraqi asylum seekers to Greece. Clearly, this Dublin regulation’s approach to “readmission” is unfair both to the migrants and to countries like Greece. Any new plans must be better.

above frans timmmermans, below federica mogherini

The new plan is that a “mass influx” will trigger an emergency distribution system that will spread the load around the rest of Europe on a quota system basis. Again, it is not at all clear whether this will be administered by the country experiencing the “mass influx” and whether the quota distribution is of applicants on processed refugees. The new Government wants to help police the mediterranean and protect those caught up in trafficking, but it does not want to be part of the quota system.

Scotland welcomes Refugees

Humza Yousaf, however says very clearly that Scotland would welcome its share of a quota.

Theresa May & Opt Out

Theresa May however says, “We must — and will — resist calls for the mandatory relocation or resettlement of migrants across Europe.” Britain is not going to veto the proposal: it can’t. It is simply using its opt-out of something that is subject to a majority vote and likely to pass. Angela Merkel sounds more promising and she has already welcomed about 1/3 of all those seeking asylum, a total of 626,000 asylum applicants over 2014: “We and our European partners are fundamentally convinced that we must act urgently with regard to the dramatic refugee developments in the Mediterranean.” However, if the new proposals go ahead, she will be inevitably taking less asylum seekers and it is likely if the new proposals overturn Dublin 3, that Britain will no longer be able to send people back to their country of first entry. The fall out from this is that, ironically, the UK may end up accepting more immigrants than before and indeed offering greater help. Today, in fact the Royal Navy rescued 400 migrants.

Part B- refugees

There is a second part to this proposal which is a resettlement of refugees from camps outside the EU. This presumably includes people from countries like Turkey which has taken over 1.6 million Syrian refugees since the outbreak of the syrian crisis in 2011 and spent over £3 billion granting free healthcare to Syrian refugees. Some of these are in 22 government-run camps near the border but many are welcomed into the towns and cities. I remember getting my hair cut a few years’ ago in Istanbul and meeting a young lad who was sweeping the floor and was a Syrian refugee. He must have been about 12. There is a problem. Turkey does not give the Syrians official status as refugees, and instead calls them “guests”. This is both helpful in removing any stigma but it also means that there is less security and local people might begin to resent unregistered business ventures and competition. The impression given by recent Amnesty reports is that Turkey is reaching saturation-point and AFAD calls out for help. Meanwhile there are calls on the Turkish government to regularize Syrian workers so that they can pay proper tax.

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Meanwhile, today (may 13th) is the anniversary of the birth of Vesta Tilly, the lady who first made famous the character of Burlington Bertie.

More on Nigel Farage’s fake resignation

This a story is a bit like a suicide attempt- it was an appeal for help, with Farage repeating the Cleopatra stunt at the end of Shakespeare’s play where she pretends to kill herself in the belief that poor Antony will come limping over. All, as GBS, observed, a bit adolescent as indeed is Mr Farage’s stunt.

Here is the finished cartoon of the incident.

Here is an early sketch of the same picture

The Farage /UKIP resignation is interesting in many ways. Firstly, it establishes very clearly that Mr Carswell is of no consequence to the party machine, and was simply brought in- as we know by Simon wheeler who had given the party large donations after himself defecting from the Conservatives. Presumably Carswell sees himself as leader material. Carswell is his own man and as the only sitting UKIP MP, is determined it seems, to hold a moral line. That, I think, is commendable but will be difficult.

Many of the current UKIp Rankers, particularly the MEPs were parachuted into office under the personal direction of Farage, so forming his own college of cardinals and they owe their careers and present prosperity to him. Coburn is certainly one of these and no doubt was given license long ago to create as much mayhem as he could, undermining not only the SNP but also the existing UKIP branches that may not have been as Farage-focused as the leader would have wished. Coburn’s job, in otherwords, it is alleged, was to destabilise the local Scottish party. This is why he will not resign and why Farage will never apologise to Humza Yousaf no matter how often he is requested to do so.

My prediction therefore is very simple- should Farage genuinely be back in power, there will be some bubbles of resentment. There may even be a Carswell defection, but to whom? The Conservatives will not welcome him back. And Farage will probably win an early by-election gaining parliamentary credibility in the process. I may not like what he stands for but, as I have said before, I cannot fault his skills as an orator and I would be the first to applaud these. The place for such skills is certainly the House of Commons.

Other UKIP defectors, however, have warned me of the barrage of personal attacks and trumped-up charges that they have faced for speaking out. I am told darkly that UKIP has inherited, from the BNP/NF/EDF, a string of complicit police officers with power to corrupt the justice system. I am not sure this is a warning or is itself another threat.

I have been sent messages about the fate of Justin Adams, for example, the pilot whose plane crashed in 2010. This was the same plane in which Farage was travelling and which was flying a doomed banner. The whole thing ended in disaster and recrimination. Farage was in hospital and is still doing physiotherapy for a bad back, while Adams complained that the crash led to the disintegration of his marriage, and his being “incarcerated” in his elderly mother’s home. In 2011, he was convicted on 5 counts of threatening to kill Farage. Apparently, he made a telephone call to Samantha Sutton, the UKIP national secretary, claiming, “It’s just been delivered. I now have a 9mm pistol. I have got the means to do it and I will take them and then myself.” He was threatening to kill Farage and the civil aviation investigator, Martin James. Indeed, the whole story sounds a bit alarming. Later Justin Adams was found dead. It seems he had taken his own life.

Certainly, I did not expect the degree of pressure I have so far experienced or the personal attacks against my family. But it is far from clear from the story of Adams that there is some sort of Cabal or conspiracy against ex-UKIppers.

Indeed, when you look more closely, the conspiracy theories seem wrong. Mr Farage is on record at the time of the crash urging the pilot to steer clear of the village of Charlton. I am not sure who told us that but it is hugely commendable. If Adams became abusive as the investigation proceeded at snail’s pace, that is probably understandable though not prudent. People react to trauma in different ways but threatening to kill someone seems a bit excessive. I see evidence here that perhaps there was a lack of care by UKIP, but certainly not of a trumped up charge. It would be wrong to indulge paranoia.

I have also been told to look up the story of Nicole Sinclaire, an ex MEP- thrown out of the party for refusing to sit with Liga Nord/ EFD. She said that some of the group had extremist views. It certainly took her a long time to work this out! According to one report, the trigger for her defection was being called a “queer” by fellow UKIP MEP Godfrey Bloom. Bloom is the man who was himself thrown out of the party for calling women “sluts” and referring to “bongo bongo land”. When challenged by journalists who showed him a newspaper article, I recall he hit one of them over the head with the said newspaper. At some point he also criticised David Cameron as “pigeon-chested; the sort of chap I used to beat up.” Bloom simply seems to be a bully, and I feel rather impressed that UKIP ditched him. But did they not suspect he was a bully in the first place?

There was a case of sexual discrimination which Sinclaire won. She said,

“During my time as an MEP I put in more than £120,000 of my salary into the cost of my work activities. It was also me who in 2010 drew the attention of the West Midlands Police to irregularities I discovered had taken place, without my knowledge, in my Ukip office.” She was arrested herself in February 2012 and accused of money-laundering and misconduct in public office. This story is more troubling, but there are parallels with the recent Atkinson story and it seems to confirm only that there is dodgyness in high places. We know that!

No doubt, if I am suddenly faced with a string of allegations, then there might be some credibility to the consipiracy theorists, but as yet, I think it best to be cautious and calm.

Why Farage cannot be Vicky Pollard

Vicky (Vicki?) Pollard is a tremendous creation- a whinging no-hoper, so from that point of view, it might surprise people who have read my other posts that I think the link between Farage and Pollard is wrong. Particularly as Mr Farage has now resigned without winning South Thanet, a failure for which I hope I can take some personal credit.

“no but, yeh but, what happened was- shut up. I wasn’t even supposed to be here like this… blah blah blah” Brilliant!

She blisters forth with a barrage of contradictions and bluster, some of it quite unprintable and, in fact, all beautifully cadenced.

Farage, for all his faults, is one of the best political performers in the UK today. His speeches in the Chamber of the EU alone are always worth watching on Youtube and I am sure are thrilling in real life. I love the fact that he is so confident and speaks without notes. His delivery, the content, the Chutzpah and humour are always, therefore, remarkable and it would be churlish of me not to acknowledge that. His only rhetorical rival is Boris. Just to press the point, listen to, or watch Ed Miliband who has a stream of very specific rhetorical flourishes, most of them repetitive, and that is it. He has managed a slightly better screen image of late- with some coaching, but it is nothing as extreme as the transformation wrought on Thatcher by Gordon Reece, nor indeed as effective. (Reece was a schoolboy contemporary of Norman St John Stevas at my old School Ratcliffe College) Ed remains, therefore, “nice Ed” and today watching him resign, I felt that what he really needed was a good hug. (I am not volunteering: I am not really a hugger at all) But Ed Miliband does vulnerability and that is not the diet of choice for leading British politicians today.

I can go a little further and add that on many issues, I share Mr Farage’s views. I differ significantly about immigration but I certainly recognise that the EU project, as it stands, is seriously damaged. Simply looking across to Greece, which is a country I know well confirms that Europe is no longer working properly. No country in a cohesive federation of National states should be so bullied or so shamed and punished for faults that were made years ago and with the connivance of the very countries that now seem to press for austerity. The Greek demand for reparations, incidentally, from Germany seems to me reasonable, but more reasonable would be Germany’s unconditional offer of such reparations. That way, at least the money would flow, and we would no longer be talking about debt.

When Farage tries vulnerability, however- with pleas about back-pain or, today with a reference to his plane-crash (which caused the back pain in the first place), it all seems a bit disingenuous. He is better on attack, and that is why he is no Pollard. Pollard is all stammer and alot of unprintable invective scatter-gunned at whoever might be in the Farage’s attacks have bite and bile. I should know- his people tried some of that on me!

Vicky Pollard, however, is all about vulnerability. A different type of vulnerability to Ed Miliband’s, of course. She is aggressive because she is hurt. That is not Miliband, and certainly not Farage.

I have drawn a picture of Farage as Vicky, which is below, and that is why I have given this some thought. The idea came from a tossed-off comment made on the BBC so it is not my analogy at all.

Let’s face it, a politician cannot plead for sympathy when he has lost an election. Farage tried that and he was compared on the BBC to a character from Little Britain. Well done, BBC!

However, for UKIP resignation is not about honour. It is about punishment which is why Coburn will not resign and why Farage has converted his resignation into something else. Let me offer a visual hint with refence to Cliff Richard and Greece- “Who forgot to fill the tank?”

Farage’s resignation was odd. Within minutes of resigning, he was offering to stand again for office in September. So for Farage, resignation is just a cheap holiday away from responsibility. But he remains an MEP and I have already written to him as my MEP to ask him very specific questions.

Meanwhile, the fate of the UKIP project hangs in the balance because there is no-one quite able to take the place of Farage. Suzanne Evans, who Farage recommends as interim leader, exposed herself the other night on TV as morally hollow when she failed to recognise the wealth of difference between a labour man, Sumon Hoque, dismissed for not having a proper MOT- a driving offence- and a UKIP man, Robert Blay, who has threatened to shoot a rival Sri Lankan candidate between the eyes. She pleaded, rather stupidly, that the press were over-emphasising the case of Robert Blay simply because he was a UKIPPER. If anything, they underplayed the story because of a BBC fear about political bias in the days immediately before the election.

Because of the postal votes, the system in both cases went ahead. the labour guy insisted he was still standing; I am not sure Blay has said anything and I assume both that Blay did not attend the count and that the votes were wasted. The issue is largely academic but it would have been interesting if either had come first.

In the case of Jason Zadrozny, who was arrested I think just before the campaign began, he withdrew from the election process himself. As I understand it, unless the issue was bankruptcy, criminal proceedings would not automatically bar a candidate from standing in an election and indeed Bobby Sands was elected to Parliament in 1981, the then youngest MP but a prisoner who died a month after his election. Prisoners who are serving gaol sentences of more than a year’s length are now forbidden to stand under the Representation of the People Act 1981.

My red line, however, remains: Racism, in any form, cannot be condoned, and, so far, I understand neither Humza Yousaf nor Ranil Jayawardena has received a written apology from the leader of UKIP or from anyone claiming that authority. If Mr Farage has indeed resigned, and if Evans is appointed only as a caretaker, then maybe there is now no-one left to write these letters until a new leader is elected in Septamber. Should Mr Farage don the mantle again then, I suppose these questions will remain there to haunt him. And certainly whoever succeeds to authority in UKIP would take on the responsibility of writing at least the three letters I have myself demanded of the leader. This is quite apart from the demand that Mr Coburn MEP should resign, which I suppose is his own decision now as there will be no leader with the authority to command his suspension. I still hold out hope that Farage has a heart and will take proper responsibility during the next few weeks to sort out what he has so far not bothered to do. I would genuinely like to hear that he has bothered to respond. And anyway, Paul Oakden in his interview on Radio Northampton promised that “after the election, he will get round to” answering me. Who knows!

I remain an optimist.

Another example of UKIP racism

The day before the election and another story explodes of UKIP racism. I am not hugely surprised but I am a bit shocked at the failure of other UKIP candidates to speak out against this, or indeed, as I did over Humza Yousaf, to resign. It is not enough to have this man suspended. He contaminates the brand as much as David Coburn did.

UKIP in other words is not just racist, it is aggressively so. Councillor Ranil Jayawardena is a fellow of the RSA and a Freeman of the City of London. He is a natural successor to James Arbuthnot and I imagine he will do well tomorrow.

The issue with UKIP goes deeper than the news we read today. This is a group that is thoroughly infiltrated by BNP thugs, may well retain links with the National Front, became buddies with Lega Nord, and seems to tolerate holocaust deniers. This is a party where the simple fact is misrepresented again and again- EU migrants are not an economic liability. They are NET contributors. We need to wake up to this fact. The absurd idea that underpins UKIP thinking is that the more migrants we get rid of, the more access we will have to public services. But the simple fact remains that many of these migrants contribute significantly to the upkeep of these self-same services and more than that, often staff the services. The NHS for instance would be a pitiful shell of an institution without the migrant labour force of nurses and cleaners and doctors.

At the point of writing, Farage has not spoken out and apologised to Rabil as he did not apologise to Humza. I suppose he regards this as just another joke, which is why UKIP candidates clearly feel there is licence to overstep the mark.

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